The whole 2009 I had been taking random pictures, hoping that I would remember this year more clearly once it left me. Well, I didn't manage to really capture EVERY vital moment, but... hurm menyesal... There are some moments that I wish I did capture in camera.
And due to my lack of visual items accompanying my previous entries here in my blog *most of the time I'd be all about words only* today, I'd like to make an entry; pointless, but nonetheless 'filled' with photos.
Lagipun, aku bosan.. mak aku kata, kalau aku bosan, aku sendiri punya salah, tak pandai nak entertain diri. So, aku ciptalah kerja; browse through album aku, ambil semua gambar-gambar 'pointless' ni. These photos reminds me of so many things but are too 'empty' to be uploaded to my fb account, so, here they are.
the view of the Gardens. the place where I would not buy my things from. I couldn't.
a view out from the windows of the classes up on Tower Block. That's Menara Telekom.
My 'work' place when I still had the post-it-project fever.
Teh ais at canteen, paling besh aku rasa.
The rainbow umbrella. I forgot whose it is. But this is at Atik's.
Nurul made a really nice status just now. She said Ponny wished her to have rainbow-filled days; sunshine+rain... happy days+inevitable rough days=life. so comforting. in a way.
a view of a building in the making. this place reminds me of the view when I was waiting for clyde and where, nearby, he taught me how to ride the motorcycle
this one I took when I was waiting for him too. he went to fetch something at the other block
this one, he drew for me to stick inside my transparent file
and this one, I wrote as big as I can inside my notebook, took a picture and sent it through mms. to clyde of course.
Actually, the thing that triggered me to do this entry is Aizat, Syafiq and Myto's project video documentary on IPBA. I got the chills watching it. Maybe I still can't believe that that (undergrad life) is over. But I know I'm gona keep the memory. ;)
Was thinking of updating the blog with something else totally just now. But decided that that should wait. There will be a more suitable time for that.
...typed something but deleted it again.
...typed something else more; but decided that it's a 'no' too.
Fine. I let one out: "I miss clyde so much"
OKaay. I'll keep everything else to myself [for now], I promise. SO. Love art-blog hopping, especially for the motivation to create one myself. usually it'll star from Imaginsm Studio's Blog or DeviantArt. But one of my friends introduced me to another site to start from. Nice~ So, hop, hop, hop I go.
Other than that...bought new gears for drawing; drove the hilux around and around again *I feel the power* yeay; staying out of trouble; trying to make everyday meaningful with the cohortblog, trying to stay in touch with the world through FB, helping around the house(s), teaching kids English and just try to be more of an adult by saying lesser things and try to let go some of the old feelings. It was a heavy burden all these while, anyway--those feelings. Blekh. If you want to keep on carrying it, go ahead.
Other than that, I try not to care much like I used to. I worried too much about other stuffs until my own world almost collapsed. Tsk. So I'm putting on a bulletproof vest and I'm venturing out.
[...] *stuck at the 'door'*. I don't really know how I'm gona 'venture out', but the thought makes me feel so motivated so I'm sticking it in my head. Yeah!
I wish I have this in the garageto venture out~ Gambar tiada kena mengena dengan entry.
All of my books (story books) are probably on the sea now. Or maybe at some port, waiting to sail. Hurm it’ll take more weeks for them to see me, or me-them.
All but one. One which I save for my holidays. My still most loved book: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Charles Lutwidge Dodgson/ pen name: Lewis Carroll. A 1954’s addition, bought in early 2008 off TradeMe. I didn’t even save my sketch book, nor my pens; I really don’t understand why, now that I think about it. Maybe I was a bit off on the day of packing those boxes.
Anyway, this book accompanied me during the flight (and flights before this) and my holiday days up until now. Even I read it again and again; it never fails to make me stick. And the way all the nonsense going on in the ‘story’, I also never fail to just let go of the book whenever I wanted to stop and do something else.
You see, this is a very important feature for a good read (for me who has very short attention span). Because, if I read a book that is too engaging, I would never stop and I’d probably end up spending the whole day or many days just to finish it. But not with this book.
And one thing that I love about the story is that, as I read on, I kept thinking, THIS IS NONSENSE. It’s crazy, it’s all such a mess! It is, in fact, adventure. And it won’t stop make me wonder what it really is. What the story is really telling. What is actually going on in Carroll’s mind when he wrote this? The wonders, I say... He was anyway also a mathematician.
The story’s reference to a deck of cards (Wonderland) and to a playing of chess (Looking Glass) are merely some of the evidence that there really is more to the story line than just Alice’s dreams on lazy and boring afternoons.
Well, there’s so much analysis of the story (both stories) that we can find nowadays. I’ll take my time interpreting the story myself first while I read those other analysis and interpretations bit by bit. Starting from Google and Wiki, so much to read about...
And there's so many adaptations and other works of art that are inspired/influenced by this book. I remember being so excited when I first knew that Mr. Burton will make one too; a live-action movie out of the story, sort of, more of an extension story as said. And I remember seeing a poster; and get all excited showing it to Clyde. And today I bumped on to the trailer again so I want to share it. Maybe you’ve watched it. But s'what.
And I wanted to share this part ... ...taken off from Chapter 5: Wool and Water (Through the Looking-glass). Maybe we can learn something from it.
‘Only it is so very lonely here!’ Alice said in a melancholy voice; and at the thought of her loneliness two large tears came rolling down her cheeks. ‘Oh, don’t go on like that!’ cried the poor Queen, wringing her hands in despair. ‘Consider what a great girl you are. Consider what a long way you’ve come to-day. Consider what o’clock it is. Consider anything, only don’t cry!’ Alice could not help laughing at this, even in the midst of her tears. ‘Can you keep from crying by considering things?’ she asked. ‘That’s the way it is done,’ the Queen said with great decision: ‘nobody can do two things at once, you know. Let’s consider your age to begin with—how old are you?’ ‘I’m seven and a half exactly.’ ‘You needn’t say “exactually”, ‘ the Queen remarked: ‘I can believe it without that. Now I’ll give you something to believe. I’m just one hundred and one, five months and a day.’ ‘I can’t believe that!’ said Alice. ‘Can’t you?’ the Queen said in a pitying tone. ‘Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.’ Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said: ‘one can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I dare say you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. …..
Really, read between the lines. Not because you’re trying to be a douche, but surely, there’s much to read there than just those words. Too much to learn from just a short excerpt.
Life is not as simple as mathematics. Owh how hard it is to accept that fact. I know it. But to truly believe in it and act based on the belief of that is so much harder.
I wish I can babble more about this. But every time I typed something, I’ll cancel it out. Bearing in mind some people who might read this.
But life is good. Life is good to me. I wish I can give more goodness to people, help people as I walk pass their lives. But not everything will be perceived as how we wanted it to be. There’s too much misinterpretation.
Still, though there’s always a slight glitch here and there—life still is good to me.
Sometimes I wonder, it is just so wrong that I felt this guilt to show that I am happy. To write about how happy I am. It is just not fair. But what is fair? What is right? What is wrong? And every discussion leads us to the subjectivity of these concepts again and again.
And so I left it there. I just hope (sincerely hope with all my heart) that everyone could see that life is good…
Hey! Look at this picture.
This life is good enough for me.
I'll appreciate what I have and I'll respect what I don't.
Yeah. I guess I’m still not out of the transition phase. I am sorry. I cannot distract myself from this emptiness I felt now that I’m far away from the one life I once have.
But …yeah…yeah.. I’ll try my best.
I mean, I know right? I need to really move on now.
But home is sooo comfy~ I don’t know how to be on my feet. The life of a total ‘bambung’! Meaning unemployed adult in Sandakan *as far as I know*… is such a bliss at times when I ignored the feeling of emptiness and the need to do something else than ‘doing’ the internet. Hekhekhekhek
I mean, come on. Don’t blame me. I can’t move on with the uncertainty of where I’ll be posted… Excuses.
I think it’d be great to reconnect us and keep us connected (the fellow monkeys of TESLians, cohort 3, cycle 2, IPGMKBA). Also to “…have a blog where we share news and updates or stories related to teaching in general or personal experience specifically those related to the profession or education...”
ps. thanx Bobby Long for the heaps of contribution in making the site better. and to those who joined in. more people please! :D let's make this work. ;)
