a situation occurs: people call it "a problem". a bunch of folks are involved.
every one of those folks should be blamed to (directly or indirectly) cause the problem to occur.every one/party/group/side.
it is just that for every one of them, the reasons for their actions that contributes to the problem and the consequences of those actions, differs from each other.but still, the actions from every one of them ties all of them to the problem.
(additional note: a reason will turn into an excuse if it exists only to help one's escape from the responsibility for the consequence of one's actions)
so take the blame for your own contribution and reflect on it and maybe do something about it.no one's innocent in this.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
bila 2 + 2 bukan 4, just open up.
aku rasa dunia ni subjektif. subjektivitinya itu infiniti. dunia ni bukan cuma dua sisi syiling tapi sisi yang bilangannya infiniti.subjektif kerana?--...
dan aku yakin tersusunnya dunia, dunia selepas dunia, isi-isinya dan segalanya di luar dan di dalam itu amat rapi yang menjadikannya adil. adil tidak semestinya sama. adil itu bukan zalim.adil kerana?--...
bila apa saja datang pada kita, ia datang dalam samar. tapi aku yakin apa saja ianya itu ia datang dari Tuan pemilik seluruh alam. ia datang sebagai cubaan. ia datang sebagai dugaan. biar ia sesuatu yang sedih, atau yang gembira; kekalahan atau kemenangan; keindahan atau keburukan; pengetahuan atau kejahilan...semua nya cubaaan dan dugaan.
jadi bila ali kalah, ali patut ingat kekalahan nya satu cubaan dari Pemiliknya, dan kemenangan penentangnya iaitu si abu itu pun cubaan bagi si abu sendiri. dengan kekalahan itu, si ali mungkin didatangi dengan kemahuan berkobar lebih tinggi, membuat dia lebih bersemangat.atau si ali mungkin didatangi dengan kebencian dan dendam yang dalam untuk si abu. si abu pula, menangnya mungkin buat dia lemah dengan sombongnya dan riaknya, atau menangnya boleh buat dia lebih berhati-hati kerna dia mau menang lagi.
jadi bila milah belajar tinggi-tinggi, dia tau banyak, dia cerdik pandai, dia kena ingat itu juga cubaan bagi dia bila dia lihat Kuku yang tidak belajar tinggi, sekolah pun tak pernah masok. si Kuku pulak kena ingat, kejahilannya tentang pengetahuan dunia itu pun satu cubaan biar pun dia tahu banyak pasal agama dan hari ikhirat sedangkan si Milah tadi tu, senteng pengetahuan agamanya.
apa yang aku cuba cakap pun aku tak berapa pasti. ha! mungkin itu la apa yang aku cuba cakap: tiada apa yang pasti dalam dunia ni kerana sifat dasarnya ialah ia subjektif.. pengetahuan kita ni, tidak pernah terjangkau apa yg Dia susun kan.kenapa kita senang untuk yakin kita berdosa/berpahala, dia berdosa/berpahala, kita patut mati/hidup, dia ptut mati/hidup, lebih baik ini dari itu/lebih baik itu dari ini, kita patut bahagia/dihukum, dia patut bahagia/dihukum...siapa kita untuk bercakap? dan siapa lah aku untuk bercakap.
sbb pemberi dosa/pahala, penentu hidup/mati, penentu yg baik itu/ini, pemberi ganjaran/hukuman itu bukan kita...sudah tentu bukan aku atau kau..memang betul lah yang dosa itu tetap berdosa mengikut hukum, masa hidup kita diterhad kan pada mati, yang lebih baik itu boleh di senaraikan ikut jadual pros & cons yang cikgu Dollah ajar kita dan ganjaran untuk yang berbuat baik, hukuman untuk yang berbuat jahat, tapi think again, semua masih bukan di tangan kita yang kecil ini.
aku cuma harapkan peringatan.dan ini peringatan ku yang mana juga datang sebagai cubaan kepada ku.kerana semua cubaan itu cuma cuba membawa kita peringatan ke arah Pencipta.keyakinan kita betapa Maha Adil nya Dia.
yang aku rasa aku pegang dalam hidup ni, kita patut sentiasa cuba memahami bahawa pengalaman hidup, persekitaran, pengaruh-perngaruh, rentetan peristiwa dalam hidup seseorang,pemahaman, pengertian, kepercayaan, pegangan seseorang itu sentiasa lain daripada seseorang yang lain, lain dari kita punya, lain dari aku punya dan kau punya.
jadi, bila satu hari nanti, kita tersedar kita melafazkan ayat2 seperti:
...tu la mak bapak dia tak pandai ajar la tu..
think again.ure probably right! makbapak dia mungkin tak ajar dia dengan baik. jadi bersyukur la mak bapak kamu telah mendidik kamu dengan baek.jadi mungkin kamu boleh membantu dia jadi pandai sikit macam kamu.
...kalau aku la kannnnn, aku..
think again. kalau kamu tu dia, ada juga kemungkinan kamu akan buat seperti yang dia buat...jangan sombong...berrsyukur kamu tidak dihadapkan dengan cubaan yang sama yang dia hadapi sampai dia boleh terjebak dalam benda-benda macam itu.jadi mungkin kamu boleh membantu dia keluar dari jebakan itu.
...eee saiko nyaaaaa orang tu!! konghajo btoollll~!!..
think again. betul juga mungkin dia gila. mungkin dia jahil. mungkin dia silap, salah, tak terigapai dek akalnya tentang apa pun yang kamu rasa dia gila/kurang ajaran nya. jadi bersyukurlah kamu mampu berfikir dengan waras dan cukup ajaran. bersyukur lah kamu bukan salah seorang dari pesalah/kriminal untuk jenayah itu, jadi kalau lah kamu nak sangat untuk memahami mengapa orang itu menjadi penjenayah dalam kriminal itu, satu hari nanti, you could have found yourself in his/her position doing the similar crime and insyaAllah at tht time you will understand.
...omg this blog! bida' btulll ba!! ber-trep penulis nyaaa!!...
think again. u are right. i am being a smartarse. but i tell you this, dengan seburuk2 manusia, seburuk2 perkara, seminimal nya kewujudan sesuatu itu, seburuk2 guru, se-obvious mana pun common-sense-la-ni-waznah tahap punya common sense apa yang aku bebelkan ini suma, kalau mahu belajar, ada juga yang boleh dipelajari.
so choose wat u wana take from what you've read just now.
dan aku yakin tersusunnya dunia, dunia selepas dunia, isi-isinya dan segalanya di luar dan di dalam itu amat rapi yang menjadikannya adil. adil tidak semestinya sama. adil itu bukan zalim.adil kerana?--...
bila apa saja datang pada kita, ia datang dalam samar. tapi aku yakin apa saja ianya itu ia datang dari Tuan pemilik seluruh alam. ia datang sebagai cubaan. ia datang sebagai dugaan. biar ia sesuatu yang sedih, atau yang gembira; kekalahan atau kemenangan; keindahan atau keburukan; pengetahuan atau kejahilan...semua nya cubaaan dan dugaan.
jadi bila ali kalah, ali patut ingat kekalahan nya satu cubaan dari Pemiliknya, dan kemenangan penentangnya iaitu si abu itu pun cubaan bagi si abu sendiri. dengan kekalahan itu, si ali mungkin didatangi dengan kemahuan berkobar lebih tinggi, membuat dia lebih bersemangat.atau si ali mungkin didatangi dengan kebencian dan dendam yang dalam untuk si abu. si abu pula, menangnya mungkin buat dia lemah dengan sombongnya dan riaknya, atau menangnya boleh buat dia lebih berhati-hati kerna dia mau menang lagi.
jadi bila milah belajar tinggi-tinggi, dia tau banyak, dia cerdik pandai, dia kena ingat itu juga cubaan bagi dia bila dia lihat Kuku yang tidak belajar tinggi, sekolah pun tak pernah masok. si Kuku pulak kena ingat, kejahilannya tentang pengetahuan dunia itu pun satu cubaan biar pun dia tahu banyak pasal agama dan hari ikhirat sedangkan si Milah tadi tu, senteng pengetahuan agamanya.
apa yang aku cuba cakap pun aku tak berapa pasti. ha! mungkin itu la apa yang aku cuba cakap: tiada apa yang pasti dalam dunia ni kerana sifat dasarnya ialah ia subjektif.. pengetahuan kita ni, tidak pernah terjangkau apa yg Dia susun kan.kenapa kita senang untuk yakin kita berdosa/berpahala, dia berdosa/berpahala, kita patut mati/hidup, dia ptut mati/hidup, lebih baik ini dari itu/lebih baik itu dari ini, kita patut bahagia/dihukum, dia patut bahagia/dihukum...siapa kita untuk bercakap? dan siapa lah aku untuk bercakap.
sbb pemberi dosa/pahala, penentu hidup/mati, penentu yg baik itu/ini, pemberi ganjaran/hukuman itu bukan kita...sudah tentu bukan aku atau kau..memang betul lah yang dosa itu tetap berdosa mengikut hukum, masa hidup kita diterhad kan pada mati, yang lebih baik itu boleh di senaraikan ikut jadual pros & cons yang cikgu Dollah ajar kita dan ganjaran untuk yang berbuat baik, hukuman untuk yang berbuat jahat, tapi think again, semua masih bukan di tangan kita yang kecil ini.
aku cuma harapkan peringatan.dan ini peringatan ku yang mana juga datang sebagai cubaan kepada ku.kerana semua cubaan itu cuma cuba membawa kita peringatan ke arah Pencipta.keyakinan kita betapa Maha Adil nya Dia.
yang aku rasa aku pegang dalam hidup ni, kita patut sentiasa cuba memahami bahawa pengalaman hidup, persekitaran, pengaruh-perngaruh, rentetan peristiwa dalam hidup seseorang,pemahaman, pengertian, kepercayaan, pegangan seseorang itu sentiasa lain daripada seseorang yang lain, lain dari kita punya, lain dari aku punya dan kau punya.
jadi, bila satu hari nanti, kita tersedar kita melafazkan ayat2 seperti:
...tu la mak bapak dia tak pandai ajar la tu..
think again.ure probably right! makbapak dia mungkin tak ajar dia dengan baik. jadi bersyukur la mak bapak kamu telah mendidik kamu dengan baek.jadi mungkin kamu boleh membantu dia jadi pandai sikit macam kamu.
...kalau aku la kannnnn, aku..
think again. kalau kamu tu dia, ada juga kemungkinan kamu akan buat seperti yang dia buat...jangan sombong...berrsyukur kamu tidak dihadapkan dengan cubaan yang sama yang dia hadapi sampai dia boleh terjebak dalam benda-benda macam itu.jadi mungkin kamu boleh membantu dia keluar dari jebakan itu.
...eee saiko nyaaaaa orang tu!! konghajo btoollll~!!..
think again. betul juga mungkin dia gila. mungkin dia jahil. mungkin dia silap, salah, tak terigapai dek akalnya tentang apa pun yang kamu rasa dia gila/kurang ajaran nya. jadi bersyukurlah kamu mampu berfikir dengan waras dan cukup ajaran. bersyukur lah kamu bukan salah seorang dari pesalah/kriminal untuk jenayah itu, jadi kalau lah kamu nak sangat untuk memahami mengapa orang itu menjadi penjenayah dalam kriminal itu, satu hari nanti, you could have found yourself in his/her position doing the similar crime and insyaAllah at tht time you will understand.
...omg this blog! bida' btulll ba!! ber-trep penulis nyaaa!!...
think again. u are right. i am being a smartarse. but i tell you this, dengan seburuk2 manusia, seburuk2 perkara, seminimal nya kewujudan sesuatu itu, seburuk2 guru, se-obvious mana pun common-sense-la-ni-waznah tahap punya common sense apa yang aku bebelkan ini suma, kalau mahu belajar, ada juga yang boleh dipelajari.
so choose wat u wana take from what you've read just now.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
ajarkan aku bahasa yang mana aku bisa memahami mu.
I was thinking, is there any scientific reason why I would prefer to do stupid and non-useful stuffs rather than doing my real work? —well, other than the super-lazy effect? Like a condition with a cool name that can make me use it as an excuses to be entitled for a personal hot-and-brilliant tutor to help me with my assignments...fully sponsored by the govt too.
Fine. Lets talk about this one topic since it’s suppose to be in my supposed-to-be-interested-in topics. I have to wait for a few other nine inch nails videos to upload anyway.
So.. teaching maths & science in English.
Hm… the first thing that come up in my mind about this topic is the reference books in the libraries, local libraries, overseas libraries… or the things up on the net… hmm, anyone can deny that most of these books and materials (in general) are in English? I don’t think so. What about reference books and online materials focusing on only these two subjects—still, mostly they r in English.
N then I was thinking—really? If we teach these two subjects in English, it will contribute to the death of our beloved language Bahasa Malaysia; despite the fact that there are so many efforts to preserve it—really?
Then I thought about—well , I was the product of a system when these two subjects aren’t taught in English. Here’s what I found myself in; related to the two previous thoughts. 1) I freaked out when I opened up a reference book on the two subjects. The words, the terms, the sentence structure n blablabla—I cant take them in. I realized this during the one month in matriculation (I was taking physics) and while I was killing time in some uni library; browsing through some cool books that I will never use in TESOL major. watever. 2) I am still speaking Malay 98% of my time. I can write in Bahasa in this blog but I’m not and even if I do, I’ll try to make it sound like Usher or my Sabahan slang. Why, waznah? Maybe because, I thought of the expectation towards overseas student/English teacher…or maybe I am just happy with it—so who cares…atau untuk meluaskan bilangan kebarangkalian pembaca—what?
Then I thought about the other things that we do that can endanger *to* our Bahasa while actually using it. Our texting forms, using slangs in written and speaking forms (when we could or preferably should be using the formal n real Bahasa) and many more.
So…after all those thoughts… aku jadi penat. Dan aku tidak dapat membuat satu konklusi pun dari rentetan buah fikiran ini.
Biar lah mereka yang lebih tahu tentang yang mana “lebih baik” untuk anak-anak kita, generasi akan datang, nasib bahasa kita, perpaduan antara bangsa-bangsa di Malaysia dan lain-lain untuk menentukan polisi pendidikan kita. After all, we are trained to always say—saya yang menurut perintah.
But, hey, aren’t we the Multicultural nation with most citizens are multilingual?
Fine. Lets talk about this one topic since it’s suppose to be in my supposed-to-be-interested-in topics. I have to wait for a few other nine inch nails videos to upload anyway.
So.. teaching maths & science in English.
Hm… the first thing that come up in my mind about this topic is the reference books in the libraries, local libraries, overseas libraries… or the things up on the net… hmm, anyone can deny that most of these books and materials (in general) are in English? I don’t think so. What about reference books and online materials focusing on only these two subjects—still, mostly they r in English.
N then I was thinking—really? If we teach these two subjects in English, it will contribute to the death of our beloved language Bahasa Malaysia; despite the fact that there are so many efforts to preserve it—really?
Then I thought about—well , I was the product of a system when these two subjects aren’t taught in English. Here’s what I found myself in; related to the two previous thoughts. 1) I freaked out when I opened up a reference book on the two subjects. The words, the terms, the sentence structure n blablabla—I cant take them in. I realized this during the one month in matriculation (I was taking physics) and while I was killing time in some uni library; browsing through some cool books that I will never use in TESOL major. watever. 2) I am still speaking Malay 98% of my time. I can write in Bahasa in this blog but I’m not and even if I do, I’ll try to make it sound like Usher or my Sabahan slang. Why, waznah? Maybe because, I thought of the expectation towards overseas student/English teacher…or maybe I am just happy with it—so who cares…atau untuk meluaskan bilangan kebarangkalian pembaca—what?
Then I thought about the other things that we do that can endanger *to* our Bahasa while actually using it. Our texting forms, using slangs in written and speaking forms (when we could or preferably should be using the formal n real Bahasa) and many more.
So…after all those thoughts… aku jadi penat. Dan aku tidak dapat membuat satu konklusi pun dari rentetan buah fikiran ini.
Biar lah mereka yang lebih tahu tentang yang mana “lebih baik” untuk anak-anak kita, generasi akan datang, nasib bahasa kita, perpaduan antara bangsa-bangsa di Malaysia dan lain-lain untuk menentukan polisi pendidikan kita. After all, we are trained to always say—saya yang menurut perintah.
But, hey, aren’t we the Multicultural nation with most citizens are multilingual?
Saturday, March 14, 2009
i wana cut my hair short.really short. but i....
i..saya...i...
or maybe its becoz i havent seen anyone in since--hey, yesterday! n it feels like forever!! shucks..
- i watch the world's fastest indian again just to listen to some kiwi accent
- i listen to sigur ros' latest album to remember my days working as a cleaner in welly
- i have my own stars here on my walls--glow in the dark stars--i switched off my bedroom lights n lay here in the dark staring at them just to remember how it felt staring at the stars while sitting on a bench at kelburn park
or maybe its becoz i havent seen anyone in since--hey, yesterday! n it feels like forever!! shucks..
Friday, March 13, 2009
saya budak baru belajar
rasa tenang semasa menerima itu satu keajaiban.
rasa tenang itu datangnya dari keyakinan.
rasa keyakinan itu datang dari satu sudut hati yang memegang tali lurus.
rasa hati itu datang dari satu yang lurus.
kami cuma kelemahan bertemu kelebihan.
kami cuma kekurangan bertemu kekuatan.
kami cuma penerimaan bertemu kefahaman.
kami cuma mengerti bertemu menerima.
kami cuma disini bertemu disana.
kalau aku tanya kenapa, kalau aku jawab tiada.
biarlah belajar
biarlah berjalan
biarlah hilang sebuah sesalan
tapi yang molek itu mencuba lagi
sebab yang Maha Agung itu bukan cinta ini
barangkali, banyak barangkali yang barangkali muncul. satu titik yang bercabang mampu membawa kita ke satu lagi titik yang bercabang lagi. cabang-cabang ini infiniti. titik yang kita tahu itu tersekat. terhad. terlalu sedikit untuk kita berlagak tahu kemana kita akan pergi; sedangkan di mana kita berdiri pun kita belum pasti tahu setahu mana yang kita fikir kita tahu; dan sedangkan di mana telah kita pergi punkita belum pasti apakah benar kita telah melalui titik sebelum itu seperti mana yang kita mahu percaya. tapi kita cuma manusia. itu tidak mengapa. kerana menjadi manusia juga bermaksud kita berdiri. kita berdiri di satu titik. bukan terbang,bukan melayang, bukan hanyut, bukan apa pun kecuali akibat sendiri.dan berdiri di titik ini mengajar aku utntuk menghargai tempat aku berdiri dan berusaha berdiri dengan satu pemahaman yang lebih dalam bahawa aku di satu titik yang bercabang infiniti. dan aku belajar lagi.
yuuu andesten o0 nottt?
is there any other posible way that i can make it more comprehensible? coz i dont know how.
rasa tenang itu datangnya dari keyakinan.
rasa keyakinan itu datang dari satu sudut hati yang memegang tali lurus.
rasa hati itu datang dari satu yang lurus.
kami cuma kelemahan bertemu kelebihan.
kami cuma kekurangan bertemu kekuatan.
kami cuma penerimaan bertemu kefahaman.
kami cuma mengerti bertemu menerima.
kami cuma disini bertemu disana.
kalau aku tanya kenapa, kalau aku jawab tiada.
biarlah belajar
biarlah berjalan
biarlah hilang sebuah sesalan
tapi yang molek itu mencuba lagi
sebab yang Maha Agung itu bukan cinta ini
barangkali, banyak barangkali yang barangkali muncul. satu titik yang bercabang mampu membawa kita ke satu lagi titik yang bercabang lagi. cabang-cabang ini infiniti. titik yang kita tahu itu tersekat. terhad. terlalu sedikit untuk kita berlagak tahu kemana kita akan pergi; sedangkan di mana kita berdiri pun kita belum pasti tahu setahu mana yang kita fikir kita tahu; dan sedangkan di mana telah kita pergi punkita belum pasti apakah benar kita telah melalui titik sebelum itu seperti mana yang kita mahu percaya. tapi kita cuma manusia. itu tidak mengapa. kerana menjadi manusia juga bermaksud kita berdiri. kita berdiri di satu titik. bukan terbang,bukan melayang, bukan hanyut, bukan apa pun kecuali akibat sendiri.dan berdiri di titik ini mengajar aku utntuk menghargai tempat aku berdiri dan berusaha berdiri dengan satu pemahaman yang lebih dalam bahawa aku di satu titik yang bercabang infiniti. dan aku belajar lagi.
yuuu andesten o0 nottt?
is there any other posible way that i can make it more comprehensible? coz i dont know how.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
menjadi hijau
When I was in Welly, I was a bit trained and tuned to (at least TRY to) being ‘green’—being green to me applies to recycling, keeping the places around u clean of rubbish, use less paper and lesser plastic instead use reusable shopping bags—im sure there’s a lot more to being-green but…well…ehee.
So when I came back to msia; to kl particularly, i was back to--everything that I bought will be in plastic bags. Every shop I went: my item(s) will be put into plastic bag(s); no matter how small the number or the size of that item(s), ……….at first I thought..takpe la. Then...The guilt just mounts up.
and so, I tried to say no to plastic bag once while buying some thing from some shop somewhere. When I saw the kakak behind the counter took out a plastic bag to put my item in, I say, em…takpe la..tak nak plastic bag..terima kasih…and then she quickly give me this look…dahi kerut2..and ask tanak plastic bag? *rolling eyes immediately followed* maybe due to causing her trouble to paste SOLD stickers to my items. aiyah…i don’t know what to say to that kakak la…tsk. My originally good intentions turn to anger towards her. aiya…
But worry not. I didn’t stop there. I try to bring big bags for outings n the reusable shopping bags that I brought from welly (just in case I miss shopping in welly). N thank God no other similar or worse 'rolling eyes incident' happened after that... Just minor weird glances…hehehe well, it’s a start. Jusco is promoting this say-NO-to-plastic bags campaign which I think kind of cool…
Which reminds me of this incident...I was driving with my mom. Suddenly she threw a food wrapper out of the car window n I was like “mommyyyyy, yuuu douunntt deuuu tthhaat…~” no. just kidding. No fake English accent with her. No English too. Nanti dia marah. Dia cakap ya la aku tau la aku tidak pigi sekolah, kau jangan la mau temberang. Hahaha Ain’t my mom the most adorable mommy everrrr??... She’s a bit insecure…but I can tell you all, she might not be formally educated, but she is one really chherrrdddiiikkkk person…anyway. Back to the story: mak..mana bole buat macam tu…and then she say alaaaa…tu na *pointing out at roadsides pavements*…ko tengok itu di tepi2 jalan, memang suda kotor pun…then I said, iya memang la ma tapi kan nanti mama pun tambah…biar la orang lain jahat, jangan la mama juga kan..she said hmm…hehehe
These two stories meant nothing but to remind me n anybody out there that it has to start somewhere. No I don’t mean to boast that I use reusable shopping bag or to tell something bad about mommy—that’d b ridiculous, my mom is the nearest example that I can use to portray that we should remind people who are close to us—I just think that, we live in a society with a mind frame that has been trained to be ignorant about some things that are actually very important. I’m just hoping that those who realize these small but important gestures can make small reminders to others too. Like u, readers. I believe that any changes have to start somewhere. No matter how small our steps are, a step will still make a difference.
Anyway, on a totally different note, I just want to share another thing: it’s quite amazing that, these Mars Volta songs only get to me after years of being in my playlist. Damn. Hahah Nad gave me these like in 2007 but I haven’t really listen to them seriously until now… hehe it’s so nice to give in to something ‘new’ and ‘fresh’ at times like this…berkejaran dengan masa. Tiba2 ada yang indah mau masuk dalam kepala. mmg indah music ini...Nice~. Thanx Nad.
So when I came back to msia; to kl particularly, i was back to--everything that I bought will be in plastic bags. Every shop I went: my item(s) will be put into plastic bag(s); no matter how small the number or the size of that item(s), ……….at first I thought..takpe la. Then...The guilt just mounts up.
and so, I tried to say no to plastic bag once while buying some thing from some shop somewhere. When I saw the kakak behind the counter took out a plastic bag to put my item in, I say, em…takpe la..tak nak plastic bag..terima kasih…and then she quickly give me this look…dahi kerut2..and ask tanak plastic bag? *rolling eyes immediately followed* maybe due to causing her trouble to paste SOLD stickers to my items. aiyah…i don’t know what to say to that kakak la…tsk. My originally good intentions turn to anger towards her. aiya…
But worry not. I didn’t stop there. I try to bring big bags for outings n the reusable shopping bags that I brought from welly (just in case I miss shopping in welly). N thank God no other similar or worse 'rolling eyes incident' happened after that... Just minor weird glances…hehehe well, it’s a start. Jusco is promoting this say-NO-to-plastic bags campaign which I think kind of cool…
Which reminds me of this incident...I was driving with my mom. Suddenly she threw a food wrapper out of the car window n I was like “mommyyyyy, yuuu douunntt deuuu tthhaat…~” no. just kidding. No fake English accent with her. No English too. Nanti dia marah. Dia cakap ya la aku tau la aku tidak pigi sekolah, kau jangan la mau temberang. Hahaha Ain’t my mom the most adorable mommy everrrr??... She’s a bit insecure…but I can tell you all, she might not be formally educated, but she is one really chherrrdddiiikkkk person…anyway. Back to the story: mak..mana bole buat macam tu…and then she say alaaaa…tu na *pointing out at roadsides pavements*…ko tengok itu di tepi2 jalan, memang suda kotor pun…then I said, iya memang la ma tapi kan nanti mama pun tambah…biar la orang lain jahat, jangan la mama juga kan..she said hmm…hehehe
These two stories meant nothing but to remind me n anybody out there that it has to start somewhere. No I don’t mean to boast that I use reusable shopping bag or to tell something bad about mommy—that’d b ridiculous, my mom is the nearest example that I can use to portray that we should remind people who are close to us—I just think that, we live in a society with a mind frame that has been trained to be ignorant about some things that are actually very important. I’m just hoping that those who realize these small but important gestures can make small reminders to others too. Like u, readers. I believe that any changes have to start somewhere. No matter how small our steps are, a step will still make a difference.
Anyway, on a totally different note, I just want to share another thing: it’s quite amazing that, these Mars Volta songs only get to me after years of being in my playlist. Damn. Hahah Nad gave me these like in 2007 but I haven’t really listen to them seriously until now… hehe it’s so nice to give in to something ‘new’ and ‘fresh’ at times like this…berkejaran dengan masa. Tiba2 ada yang indah mau masuk dalam kepala. mmg indah music ini...Nice~. Thanx Nad.
Friday, March 6, 2009
and so it is
sometimes we just forget that one of the closest thing to us is death. it lingers around us; all the time. and so it is, wen it strikes the ones around us, or the people related to the people around us, it just hurts a lil bit weirdly. the sadness is just too heavy no matter how we're not close to the ones who passed away. in a weird way. heavily, it drags everything down..even a tiny bit sound will suddenly be amplified, so u dare not make any. time suddenly ticks more slowly then before. everything suddenly put on slow motion.
but it is how it is. as we grow older, we will get to know this dear old friend 'death' better and better.
it comes to our loved ones.
be honest, at times, you do feel that your mom--calling you in a high pitched tone and nagging u around--annoys you. but when the time comes, you do wish she nags more and more...just so that u could hear her voice...
pause
and then the others will go to..
until it comes to us.
but i say death is a weird hurting coz, in a weird way, every face suddenly contains some degree of love & yearning. u long to hug everyone (that u can), pat a shoulder, hold hands, and just pause a bit..life just gets more meaningful....
i wish i could put here a recording of my mom's voice saying in a matter-of-factly tone "what are you afraid of? why are you afraid?" she can elaborate this and relate it to any issue that i share with her. but when it comes to death, she'll say, its just another phase--coming back to your Maker.
Al-Fatihah buat Ayahanda kepada Intan, semoga roh nya berada di kalangan orang yang beriman.
but it is how it is. as we grow older, we will get to know this dear old friend 'death' better and better.
it comes to our loved ones.
be honest, at times, you do feel that your mom--calling you in a high pitched tone and nagging u around--annoys you. but when the time comes, you do wish she nags more and more...just so that u could hear her voice...
pause
and then the others will go to..
until it comes to us.
but i say death is a weird hurting coz, in a weird way, every face suddenly contains some degree of love & yearning. u long to hug everyone (that u can), pat a shoulder, hold hands, and just pause a bit..life just gets more meaningful....
i wish i could put here a recording of my mom's voice saying in a matter-of-factly tone "what are you afraid of? why are you afraid?" she can elaborate this and relate it to any issue that i share with her. but when it comes to death, she'll say, its just another phase--coming back to your Maker.
Al-Fatihah buat Ayahanda kepada Intan, semoga roh nya berada di kalangan orang yang beriman.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
kad pelajar berwarna hijau
Hey.another post. But thank God it’s another day.
Anyway, lets babble my hour away.
So we have this new ‘cool matrix card’ that looks like it’s more advance you-can-swipe-me-anywhere-and-i-can-give-you-access-to-doors-unlocked-and-also-be-your-librar-card. Or so they say.
And yesterday..--or the day before…or..some days…anyway.. we were having a group discussion when a friend come up to us n say “it cant be used…” and then we know he was talking about the matrix card. It cant be used as a library card. In fact, it cant be used for anything except to display our stretched-face picture and name n ic number. But I was thinking it still is cool. You know, coz it’s a real card.
But then the part—our cards have barcodes at the bottom of every card… and that was how that friend got to the conclusion of the unusable nature of our cards…the barcodes are all just the same. It is like another picture on our cards. They are phony barcodes…
Long pause
I just don’t get why do they have to put it there.
Im not judging…u know…but…n Im not saying anything…
But.. phony barcodes?
They can just leave it blank…
just saying, enchek T…
any--haaauuuuu...~
I still have a cool id card. I wear it proudly and play with it happily once in awhile, swinging it from side to side.hehe I feel I belong now to this institute that I honestly love (serius, aku sayang tempat ni)…and just behind that card, aku selitkan kad pelajar aku yang baru luput March, berwarna hijau, dan sungguh di kasihi jua.
hihihihi
Anyway, lets babble my hour away.
So we have this new ‘cool matrix card’ that looks like it’s more advance you-can-swipe-me-anywhere-and-i-can-give-you-access-to-doors-unlocked-and-also-be-your-librar-card. Or so they say.
And yesterday..--or the day before…or..some days…anyway.. we were having a group discussion when a friend come up to us n say “it cant be used…” and then we know he was talking about the matrix card. It cant be used as a library card. In fact, it cant be used for anything except to display our stretched-face picture and name n ic number. But I was thinking it still is cool. You know, coz it’s a real card.
But then the part—our cards have barcodes at the bottom of every card… and that was how that friend got to the conclusion of the unusable nature of our cards…the barcodes are all just the same. It is like another picture on our cards. They are phony barcodes…
Long pause
I just don’t get why do they have to put it there.
Im not judging…u know…but…n Im not saying anything…
But.. phony barcodes?
They can just leave it blank…
just saying, enchek T…
any--haaauuuuu...~
I still have a cool id card. I wear it proudly and play with it happily once in awhile, swinging it from side to side.hehe I feel I belong now to this institute that I honestly love (serius, aku sayang tempat ni)…and just behind that card, aku selitkan kad pelajar aku yang baru luput March, berwarna hijau, dan sungguh di kasihi jua.
hihihihi
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
this is how (3)
This is how I procrastinate
I just made 2 new blog posts for today—and this is the third. People, these moments are probably part of the sweet final moments that you are able to spend to procrastinate as students; therefore, I suggest, we take it, and give it a hundred percent! PROCRASTINATE, SOLDIERS, PROCRASTINATE!!
To achieve that, let’s continue with the subject of this post.—procrastination.
Blablabla…I think it’s a well-known topic anyway.
So I’ll guess I’ll do something else
Let’s just do the assignments….fine…
Or maybe I can make another post. We’ll see how things go.
I just made 2 new blog posts for today—and this is the third. People, these moments are probably part of the sweet final moments that you are able to spend to procrastinate as students; therefore, I suggest, we take it, and give it a hundred percent! PROCRASTINATE, SOLDIERS, PROCRASTINATE!!
To achieve that, let’s continue with the subject of this post.—procrastination.
Blablabla…I think it’s a well-known topic anyway.
So I’ll guess I’ll do something else
- play guitar
- read bryson’s book.dem funieee.
- Play bubbles
- ….*PAUSE-I just spend half-an-hour talking what to order for dinner-dominos*
- Stare out the window, hoping it will rain again.
- Stare out the window, hoping my personal problems will solve themselves
- Stare out the window, hoping my assignments will be finished by itself
Let’s just do the assignments….fine…
Or maybe I can make another post. We’ll see how things go.
this is how (2)
This is how I forget about you
I don’t know about you guys but my brain sometimes will have a mind of its own.tsk. It will tend to think/remember, particular things and particular events that connects to particular people that I would prefer to be as lost and forgotten as those things I memorize in chemistry classes in secondaryschool.
In the case of the chemistry knowledge that I have no idea or whatsoever rite about nau, I manage to forget about it coz it has no significance to mai life watsoeverr lalala. Similarly, in the case of forgetting 'you';‘you’ is also (a) non-significant imaginative character(s) in my life that exist(s) with make-believe positive effects on me. because they share the same characteristics of non-significance; they should come to the same outcome: they are forgotten.but....
but frankly speaking, if you are me, and you are wrting about a ‘you’ tht you thnk you hv forgotten abt, don’t u think that u shld think that u haven’t actually forgotten the ‘you’ coz you are actually having this thinking about forgetting the ‘you’ that if you have forgotten shouldn’t really be in your thoughts in the frst place? And you wonder…..
this is how I (haven’t) forg(e/o)t(ten) about you.
I don’t know about you guys but my brain sometimes will have a mind of its own.tsk. It will tend to think/remember, particular things and particular events that connects to particular people that I would prefer to be as lost and forgotten as those things I memorize in chemistry classes in secondaryschool.
In the case of the chemistry knowledge that I have no idea or whatsoever rite about nau, I manage to forget about it coz it has no significance to mai life watsoeverr lalala. Similarly, in the case of forgetting 'you';‘you’ is also (a) non-significant imaginative character(s) in my life that exist(s) with make-believe positive effects on me. because they share the same characteristics of non-significance; they should come to the same outcome: they are forgotten.but....
but frankly speaking, if you are me, and you are wrting about a ‘you’ tht you thnk you hv forgotten abt, don’t u think that u shld think that u haven’t actually forgotten the ‘you’ coz you are actually having this thinking about forgetting the ‘you’ that if you have forgotten shouldn’t really be in your thoughts in the frst place? And you wonder…..
this is how I (haven’t) forg(e/o)t(ten) about you.
this is how
This is how I built up memories.
Every memory in my life time will be reinforced into long term memory if it’d be related to any song in particular. Some songs will remind me of the past times during in which I had repeatedly played those songs. Music just plays a big role in my life.
For example, this Modest Mouse album “the Moon & Antarctica” will remind me of moments I stand alone in that empty office. Boulcott Street? Is that the way to spell the name? *I know—shameless English teacher* and I remember how I lost my focus for awhile; looking out of the window, thinking about life and what actually make us happy and sad… I remember the feeling.
I remember the old guy too that at times will stay back for maybe some extra work. He looked like he’s gona retire soon. He also looked like he has this whole routine looking at his desk and the things on it and around his cubicle… but he also looked empty. But who am I to judge. He probably has this colorful n exciting life; stories to tell and maybe plans for the weekend to some exotic island with his mistress.
I also remember the other building where I clean too on Willis Street. Especially the moment where I was going to call it a day, and I was tired and I will slowly sat there on the floor in front of the toilet; got my handphone out, and text my energy out of my head…does that even make sense?
So that’s how I built up memories—connecting them to repeatedly played songs.
And next time around, when I listen to the whole “First Impression on Earth”, I will remember the days when all of this happened so fast and for all I know, I was the perpetrator of a really shitty act and was sentenced without even having any chance to say anything. But that’s just how things go around here.
Every memory in my life time will be reinforced into long term memory if it’d be related to any song in particular. Some songs will remind me of the past times during in which I had repeatedly played those songs. Music just plays a big role in my life.
For example, this Modest Mouse album “the Moon & Antarctica” will remind me of moments I stand alone in that empty office. Boulcott Street? Is that the way to spell the name? *I know—shameless English teacher* and I remember how I lost my focus for awhile; looking out of the window, thinking about life and what actually make us happy and sad… I remember the feeling.
I remember the old guy too that at times will stay back for maybe some extra work. He looked like he’s gona retire soon. He also looked like he has this whole routine looking at his desk and the things on it and around his cubicle… but he also looked empty. But who am I to judge. He probably has this colorful n exciting life; stories to tell and maybe plans for the weekend to some exotic island with his mistress.
I also remember the other building where I clean too on Willis Street. Especially the moment where I was going to call it a day, and I was tired and I will slowly sat there on the floor in front of the toilet; got my handphone out, and text my energy out of my head…does that even make sense?
So that’s how I built up memories—connecting them to repeatedly played songs.
And next time around, when I listen to the whole “First Impression on Earth”, I will remember the days when all of this happened so fast and for all I know, I was the perpetrator of a really shitty act and was sentenced without even having any chance to say anything. But that’s just how things go around here.
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