Big Boots & Lift: LIGHTEN UP, SQUIRT!!

so the buzz have been going on about MY boys working on their next LP..ehem...*a bit excited but calms self down coz dun want to put high hopes to hear em soon* i just thought i might kill time typing down irrelevant thoughts regarding this great news...

everyone's *i mean, most RH fan anyway* hoping hard for the next radiohead album to NOT take too much time like IR did...for me, if its possible, i wish it ll comeout next year..early next year..ahah but well, no one wants the kid A-amnesiac phenomenon to reoccur rite...so, lets just hope itd take enough time for extra3 quality n creativity n distinction from IR--but still not too much time, boys...

n ppl r starting to hope for old abandoned songs to be included in that album.

since Nude is already recorded, i think i'd vote for Big Boots aka Man-O-War now if there's any chance they still wana put old things in the new record.

some ppl thot Lift should be in it...hm..
i just thought that Lift is too 'ordinary', too much 'pablo-honey'ness in it, to be inside the next LP..i bet even if they include it in there, Lift will need a little touch up..

here's the pinkpop live version of the song


the lyrics

This is the place
Sit down, you're safe now
You've been stuck in a lift
We've been trying to reach you, {sometimes "Thom" is sang at this point}
This is the place
Tt won't hurt, it will not end

The smell of recognition {or: the smell of air conditioning}
A face you barely loved
Empty all your pockets
'Cause it's time to come home

This is the place
Remember me? I'm that face you always see
You've been stuck in a lift
In the belly of a whale at the bottom of the ocean

The smell of recognition
A face you barely loved
Empty all your pockets
'Cause it's time to come home

The smell of recognition
A face you barely loved

Let it go, let it go

Today is the first day
Of the rest of your days
So lighten up, squirt

i love that ending part! ahau...anyway..i hope Ed will have moarrrr chance to show off. yeay~

owh owh here's a bit from "meeting people is easy" on their effort to record Big Boots..n failed... but yeahhhh u guys can do it!! try one moarrr last time la nieee plsss laaaaaaa



here's the live version



ehe...im sorry if i offend anyone with my constant big grin..i just cant wipe it out of my face...n the giggles too..im sorry..heheheheheh

sempena hari2 terakhir di wellington

damn...hahahaha what ever is it that u do it makes me soooo happy...n what everis it that u do, no body does it better than u...n no body 'does' music better than RADIOHEAD! yeahhh..bertambah sexy n bitter lagu nehhhh...ngeh...tHOMMM I LOVE UR lazieeeeeyyyy eyeeee...same dowh ngan mate aku..sebelah pelik..yesss i share the same trait ngan THOMAS YORKE~~ wuuuu how cool am i?? hee? heee~

hmmm *termenung jap*

here's to the final days in wellington..*klink3--minum kopi dalam gelas pjg* n to making it all meaningful n hepppiiiiiii~~~ XD

walk me to my final destination

someone said theyre like drugs...once u have them, u want more...they make u high. one point u make urself believe they make u happy, but ure body disagree, failing to function properly as u take the drugs more and more...u dont realize it untill its far too late. there's no turning back. ure dying. though at first u cant live without them, at that point, even with them, u cant live. n then ure dead.

i think theyre like placebos. u believe in their ability to heal u that u are "healed"--from what sickness u cant be sure urself--. but its actually not because of the placebo *disguised as the best medicine*, but because of ur own believe in them. believing them to be saviors of ur broken life, ur broken mind, ur broken heart... believing that they can mend everything... believing that u are a broken thing that can be fixed.

but i am not broken. i dont need fixing. and you are not like them.

u r different. ure new.

hurm...my memory is getting worse. more words are dissapearing. i have hard time to talk because i cant finish most of my sentences coz there are usually gaps in them..gaps where words i think i know should fill them but i cant recall these words...i cant recall them in english nor in malay. but i know what these words do. i know what they mean. i got the feeling i know. but i cant...just cant remember. sometimes i just give up trying to talk. i abandone the topics all together. at times, im lucky, i can change the words, i beat around the bush, n if im more lucky, i can deliver the message, if im less lucky, people dont get wat i really mean, but i think they get the point. if im not lucky at all, ppl will laugh at me.
but whats sad is that when im with some certain people, people who i really want to talk to, really really important people, that i have things that i wana tell them, really really important things, it gets really tough. i lost words, sometimes i stutter, sometimes i just have to forget everything that i wana say just because ive forgotten some words, n that hurts if what i wana say is really important to a really important person.

well...at least i still have the high frequency words in my memory. though sometimes, writting is getting harder coz i still cant cope with the spelling...my GOD im 22...i still cant write/type video w/o thinking twice. *i just type v--e--and then backspace...think twice..then type v---i--d--e..n then i think it looks better so it must be right*

the thing abt short message service *kan?* (sms), its a gud thing for me...i can avoide spelling..sometimes, if i cant remember the words exactly, i can avoid talking/texting w/o appearing stupid *compared to conversing face-to-face*...i can be in the toilet or in a meeting or in a library or in a class n then i totally forget to reply the sms. or, if i have atik beside me, i can ask her, or try to say anything, something, n then she'll try to guess the word, if i got the word, i cant type it then...heh--the advantage of delayed response in conversing.similar to chatting, emailing..heh

hm.
actually im procrastinating. there's a test next friday. n i should be baking something right now. but there r butterflies in my stomach. n i cant turn my speakers on coz there r still ppl in this house. theyre going out later i think. im not going. i dont feel like going out. not feeling so well. my head, my throat. but hey..wait a minute... i havent been having migraines for a long time, have i?...waaaa...my heads surely so high among the clouds these days that i cant get any migraines eh..hahaha ye2 jeh..nanti skali dapat padan muka...but i still have small headaches...i try to avoid taking medications with these small headaches...just a few days ago i took panadols.

i was thinking about time, u know...how much time does it need to know someone...blekh..thats subjective. what do i mean about knowing someone. the name? the age? or perhaps, whats the favourite music, who are the siblings if any? or....maybe...whats the normal reaction in times like these? or how he have different kinds of laughter for different kinds of things to laugh at? and the time...should we count on days, hours, minutes, seconds? u can spend years with someone n still not 'know' them...n so i think its save to say the other way arnd like mm u can spend a minute or two with someone n 'know' them pretty well...

uve been living for years, i think u have experienced moments like that..

for example...never mind.

what important is that what u make me feel. i dont really care about the whole world as long as ure with me, but u make me care for the whole world.. hm... paham x?? that suppose to be a good thing la..did it came out as a good thing? did that sound ok? hm try metafora laen plak...cam.. hmm..aku kene beli tepung nieh... kene cepat siap kan entry ni..aaa..metafora laen...ahhhh~!! tak kesah a~ yang penting nye... laen.. semua laen.. tapi semua sama...i mean...ahhhh...

damn. im happy. :D hahahahhahahaha

as u can see, this entry is not coherent too..hm..blekh..

puff! u r dismissed~beli tepung dulu.nt merepek lagi.

laut dan si penulis

diceritakan,
metaforanya.
adanya si penulis seorang ini.
si penulis menulis cebis2 kata hati pada lembaran kertas pudar.
dengan kertas pudar, sipenulis membungkus batu2 kecil
dibuangnya jauh ke tengah laut
tenggelam ceritanya.

setiap cerita yang tenggelam,
laut menghembus angin sepoi
lembut menenangkan si penulis

ceritanya lagi
dasar laut sudah penuh dengan batu2
yang berbungkuskan cerita2nya si penulis
dan si penulis terasa selesa
ditenangkan angin laut setiap kali dia bercerita
di atas lembaran kertas pudar
dia bungkus batu2 kecil
dibuangnya lagi
angin sepoi lagi

hari2 dia datang di tepi laut
hari2 si penulis duduk
hari2 si penulis bercerita
tanpa sedar
hari2nya seperti dimakan laut
semakin dia hilang dari dunianya
berdamping laut.
dan laut menyimpan kisah nya

tapi laut tetap laut.
laut dan angin sepoinya
dan sipenulis mula sedar
si penulis hilang arah.
si penulis marah.
si penulis menangis.
si penulis bagai pengemis.
"laut tetap laut
laut dengan angin sepoi nya".

apa yang si penulis harapkan?
si penulis sendiri bingung.
dan dengan kebingungan itu,
akhirnya si penulis mengalah
dan dia tenggelam
bersama batu2 yang berbungkuskan cerita2nya

si penulis tenggelam ke dalam laut
kemudian si penulis timbul semula
kulitnya biru.
dan ungu.

laut pula
tetap laut dan angin sepoinya.
tetap laut dengan angin sepoinya.

hamper mampos dalam dunia siber

aku lupa nak set alarm utk sahur tadi...aku bangun aku cam kene tune in balek kepale aku.."ni bulan posa...hari rabu..ada kelas..skrg dah kol 1030, ko tak sahur tadi..." demmm

mende2 laen yg aku kene tune in setiap hari ialah
*ko dah tade sai
*sekarang tahun 2008 dan ko berumur 22 tahun
*ko seorang pelajar dan ko ade assignments due in $% weeks and tests in #$% weeks..
*ko kat new zealand n mak ko kat msia
*ko tinggal ngan orang laen dalam bilek nieh
*ko tinggal ngan orang laen dalam umah nieh
*ada manusia laen tinggal kat luar umah ko nieh
*ada manusia laen kat dunia nieh
*aku berada dalam dunia laen semalam

dan macam2 lagi..tu la aku kene amek masa beberapa minit kat atas katil sebelum aku mampu bangun..

aku ingat ari tu, skali dalam lecture EDUC 370...ade sorang pompuan ni cam emo2 je bile kene tanye soklan..pastu kene cakap pasal problem cam ne tah..die gtau prob die kate susah nak bangun..malas nak mandi, malas nak besiap sume..

sesungguhnye aku paham ape die cakap jadi aku ngan bodohnye g tanye die soklan..asal..asal..asal susah nak bangun..hurmm die pon TER-nanges...aku rase aku paham..sbb aku pun susah nak bangun..malas nak siap2..sebab..sebab..aku malas nak hadapi realiti..malas nak ingat

hahahahahaha

aku beberapa minggu ni cam malas nak hidup dalam wayar2 nie kan..cam mati di alam siber sekejap..semua benda aku tak update..semua benda aku malas nak layan...aku tataw aku buat pe
beberapa hari ni..sebok layan perasaan je kot..hahhahaha abes kan mase saje....


ari tu aku buat mende ni...dah lame da actually..ni la work in progress yg aku kate aku excited tu..bile dah upload..aku baru perasan mende ni tade a impak sangat..ish cam nak mencarut pun ade pagi2 nieh...tapi..yeah..aku start buat bende ni mase ade sorang ni soh aku analyze balek ape yg buat aku down sangat n DEAL WITH IT....cam tu a lebih kurang...

sesungguhnya..hamba have noooo idea what so ever about the things that make me sad ..super2 sad...yang hamba tau, hamba lebih kerap sedih dari gembira..bila gembira hamba rasa hamba boleh berlari2 dan menari2 dan menyanyi2...tapi tu kadang2 saja..yang hamba mampu buat, hamba lari dari keadaan2 yg mampu buat hamba sedih..dan pergi pada keadaan2 yg boleh buat hamba gembira...
that makes sense kan?

jadi aku pon berenti kerja, menjadi lebih honest ngan perasaan aku, habis kan masa ngan atik lebih dari aku habis kan masa sendiri di sini, jalan2 bila aku nak, buat esemen bile2 aku boleh utk hilang kan rasa guilty (hahahaha), tgk muvi kalau aku bersedia saja, dan habis kan masa ngan manusia yang btul2 bleyh buat aku hepi, selesa dan tak bosan...

no matter what happens now, i wouldnt be afraid..coz i know today *and the days i spent with u* have been the most perfeeeccctt day(s) ive ever seen...VIDEOTAPE by RADIOHEAD


aku g palmy ari tu..utk sakura fest...ni salah satu gambar membazer mase aku yg ade...
ni pon...sakura..sakura...


hmm..dah..dah penat dah buat come-back...hahahah berabes aku upload gambar, buat entry ni, balas sume komen dA, upload gambar kat fb..NGAHAHAHAHAHAHaaaaaa

hurm...

kalau aku nak pijak bumi pun, kalau aku tak kenal bumi tu sendiri, cam ne...camne weyh...ha? ha? tu la kadang2 kan, bile kite tibe2 je tersedar..reflect balek..reflect sumenye...maken banyak soklan yg ada...well, mmg la bleyh jadi ignorant biotch yg hidup je tak yah reflect..ignorant kan..bleyh je..aku bleyh jadi sume tu...tapi tak leyh lari..one day, aku bangun ngan perasaan cam nie n aku akan pusing gak ngan dunia...yoshhhhhhhhhhhh

gaban power full!

friday morning:flashcard thoughts

yesterday just saw me burst.
and all i need was a little push.heh

got some news from sai.im glad for u.n good luck.im sure she's a sweet lady.
good for u, good for her.then, good for me.

for a moment there i thought no one can ever stand me.
such a burden.
such trouble.
but then,..well..we have Allah.have faith in Him.
Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang,
Maha Pengampun dosa hamba2 nya
dan
Maha Adil.
and for that im sure my time will come, my man will come

for the time being,
pretty much;
i think i can say: Im not afraid of the world.

there's a work in progress im excited about.
hope i wont screw it up.

and God..sleep deprived~

and there's a wind, there's a sea,
where all my thoughts go

4 more academic weeks to go.
5-6 more weeks of =
workshops+sorting things out+missing Welly while still in it+scared shitless for my returning home

gained my weight back.a lil.
got some new msian artists friends
tht's fun

still wonder how will life b back in msia
gona stop by KK, visit my brother's new home
another baby's coming
pretty babies combination of roots from 5 different countries i think
lovely.

hope my brothers n i will jam together.
now that things r getting better,
i hope that dream will come true
call ourselves the Naans
HAHAHAHAH

still wonder how Ema is doing
still wonder how Bapak is doing
wonder if he's still alive
wonder if he have the slightest feeling of love
for his chidren more than him self.

i can feel ideas coming back
but still take time to visual all of them clearly in my head
n then i hope i can chain-drawing again

i do hope i can sell my own t-shirts one day
wonder if anyone would buy it

and then the wind and the sea
amazing
how we can miss someone thats not actually 'there'

i think i apologize too much

i think im okay

i think im fine

but i waste too much time.

I'll be the one who'll break my heart

currently reading "attention.deficit.disorder.:a novel" by Brad Listi.so far, amazing..

***********************************************

i can feel my empty stomach.and my dizzy head.Feist's voice never stopped entering my head too.such beautiful sound it is..and the words too.i have to say,if hearts are painted on canvas, i think i cant even make any sense out of looking at my own heart painting.my life is like..divided into fragments..half of the fragments are like dreams that i hope to continue..so wonderful and happy..another half.. i think i lost myself..floating like bubbles..----deleted--this feeling is not helping my self-esteem at all.--deleted-- and all thats left is ..me..in a bubble..and so, once again, i dont knw what to do.and i just want to say this,i am not proud to say how i am a sad, sad, sad person.some optimistic shitty big headed people would not understand how i really, really, really wish im not this sad but still cant make myself out of it.but thats okay.they dont need to understand.coz they dont make any difference.btw, i dont just wish, i work hard to be happy (my God, how silly that sounds...). i do anything i can to make myself happy.but, well..herm.explaining all these somehow makes me angry.

should stop.

Your heart felt good, it was drippin pitch and made of wood

hmm..i cant write proper entry anymore...demit.

im a bored and boring person.

just when u think things will be different, u notice that u r where u were before n u are who you were before..

n then you thought, "maybe, this is as far as i can go"....

maybe i should stop.

enjoying feist this week.two of my fav songs from last year's album the reminder.
here's "there's a limit to your love"


and here's "the water"


Feist is one of the members from "Broken Social Scene" and this is her solo act..she did the other version of "Lover's Spit" too when with BSS..Read more about feist here.

im sort of lost through out this week,.but tht's ok.im ok.
i hope im really am gaban or any heroes for that matter. superpowers, saving the world, bad guys, supervillains, one true love---never a dull day...

81 days left + rindu laut + B E G I T U I N D A H

haa....fadly dulu, hensem tau..tak chubby cam skrg..tak caye ek zura, ha...lihat ini video~!!! ganteng2 lagi anak2 padi yah~ muda2 dolu katakan...

Begitu Indah


you know wat..tinggai 81days left utk hari2 aku kat welly nieh..kejap sangat tu kalau aku pikir...byk bende aku nak buat..dulu mase aku ngan sai, dah tak sabar nak balek nieh..skrg...ngeh...xnak balek dlu bleyh ak?kat airport pun nt tade sape yg akan tggu aku..smpi kat KLIA, sah2 aku nanges..haha crybaby.ee.

ole itu, semalam, mase kat umah atik, aku pandang luar tingkap die, dapat tgk harbour dari situ...pastu terkenang zaman "aku tak kesah menggigil asal dapat jumpe laut tengah2 mlam nieh"..zaman tu mmg impulsive gile kiterang..ngam2 plak tinggal kat edu kan..senang sangat lepak luar smpi pagi buta...tsk2...pastu ada support group plak..rindu siot..skrg dah tade da...heeeeee its orait..im orait..

jadi, malam smlm, aku turun harbour...waaaaaaaa rindu siot~!! berbekalkan double shot cappuccino n kebab kami berkampung d queens wharf sampai lebam...citer2 pasal tahun lepas yg byk sesalan..tp tak pe..atik kate, semua tu pengalaman...ngeh...klu bleyh, aku ta nak pun ada pengalaman tu suma..sakit...but its orait...im orait..

aku kene buat list nieh.."things to do before coming home to msia"...
ngeh..nak tulis pe tah..# 1..nak hepi...dan seterusnya...

herm..

tgk ni ha..semalam procrastinate gune alasan g harbour...skrg ni, pagi2 buta update FB ngan blog..siot...ok fine, aku smbg esemen..

placebos & grotesque.

PLACEBO

Early use

Anti-bilious bitters and other early placebos.

Originally, a placebo was a substance that a well-meaning doctor would give to a patient, telling him that it was a powerful drug (e.g., a painkiller), when in fact it was nothing more than a sugar pill. Thus, Hooper's medical dictionary of 1811 says placebo is "an epithet given to any medicine adapted more to please than benefit the patient." The subsequent reduction of the patient's symptoms was attributed to the patient's faith in his doctor and hence his belief in the drug. (This category, particularly before the first Medicines act was passed, may merge into dake medicines.)

taken from wiki.

read more.

----------------------------------------------------------------

GROTESQUE (a novel written by Natsuo Kirino)

i'd like to quote the narrator..which im quite sure has no name mentioned.

"I had to say it. And I wasnt just being cruel. This dim-witted girl believed all that you had to do was try your best and you could do anything. [...] She knew nothing about the real world, and i wanted to explain the way things really worked." (p. 163)

"You think all you have to do is try your best? you can try until you've worn yourself away to nothing, but there's a limit, you know. you can spend your whole life trying--hell, you can try until there's nothing left of you but a little stump--and you'll never be a genius." (p.164)

at this point, the girl she was talking to/about gave a respond:

kazue: "[...] and i think you've got the attitude of a loser"

seriously, i dont know which side im on...the narrator or Kazue.

-----------------------------------------------------------

i have to confess that im losing the magic i had these couple of weeks. i dont know why n i dont know what happened.like..the scent of a perfume fades away after some time...adey..pagi2 dah cam ni kan..hahahaha *gelakkan diri sendiri** like i always said..cam there's a slap on the face...n waaa..i woke up~

i want to remember.i want to hope.

owh..and em...slamat berpuasa...saya minta maaf salah silap semua, termakan minum, terkutuk terkate, tersinggung teramok...maaf, maaf...

the dodos RED & PURPLE live from the LiveDaily session.


edit: gaban kompol power tadi..dan setelah itu menyiapkan ini:

khas utk msha & friends...ngeh...