saya budak baru belajar

rasa tenang semasa menerima itu satu keajaiban.
rasa tenang itu datangnya dari keyakinan.
rasa keyakinan itu datang dari satu sudut hati yang memegang tali lurus.
rasa hati itu datang dari satu yang lurus.

kami cuma kelemahan bertemu kelebihan.
kami cuma kekurangan bertemu kekuatan.
kami cuma penerimaan bertemu kefahaman.
kami cuma mengerti bertemu menerima.
kami cuma disini bertemu disana.


kalau aku tanya kenapa, kalau aku jawab tiada.

biarlah belajar
biarlah berjalan
biarlah hilang sebuah sesalan
tapi yang molek itu mencuba lagi
sebab yang Maha Agung itu bukan cinta ini

barangkali, banyak barangkali yang barangkali muncul. satu titik yang bercabang mampu membawa kita ke satu lagi titik yang bercabang lagi. cabang-cabang ini infiniti. titik yang kita tahu itu tersekat. terhad. terlalu sedikit untuk kita berlagak tahu kemana kita akan pergi; sedangkan di mana kita berdiri pun kita belum pasti tahu setahu mana yang kita fikir kita tahu; dan sedangkan di mana telah kita pergi punkita belum pasti apakah benar kita telah melalui titik sebelum itu seperti mana yang kita mahu percaya. tapi kita cuma manusia. itu tidak mengapa. kerana menjadi manusia juga bermaksud kita berdiri. kita berdiri di satu titik. bukan terbang,bukan melayang, bukan hanyut, bukan apa pun kecuali akibat sendiri.dan berdiri di titik ini mengajar aku utntuk menghargai tempat aku berdiri dan berusaha berdiri dengan satu pemahaman yang lebih dalam bahawa aku di satu titik yang bercabang infiniti. dan aku belajar lagi.







yuuu andesten o0 nottt?
is there any other posible way that i can make it more comprehensible? coz i dont know how.

menjadi hijau

When I was in Welly, I was a bit trained and tuned to (at least TRY to) being ‘green’—being green to me applies to recycling, keeping the places around u clean of rubbish, use less paper and lesser plastic instead use reusable shopping bags—im sure there’s a lot more to being-green but…well…ehee.

So when I came back to msia; to kl particularly, i was back to--everything that I bought will be in plastic bags. Every shop I went: my item(s) will be put into plastic bag(s); no matter how small the number or the size of that item(s), ……….at first I thought..takpe la. Then...The guilt just mounts up.

and so, I tried to say no to plastic bag once while buying some thing from some shop somewhere. When I saw the kakak behind the counter took out a plastic bag to put my item in, I say, em…takpe la..tak nak plastic bag..terima kasih…and then she quickly give me this look…dahi kerut2..and ask tanak plastic bag? *rolling eyes immediately followed* maybe due to causing her trouble to paste SOLD stickers to my items. aiyah…i don’t know what to say to that kakak la…tsk. My originally good intentions turn to anger towards her. aiya…

But worry not. I didn’t stop there. I try to bring big bags for outings n the reusable shopping bags that I brought from welly (just in case I miss shopping in welly). N thank God no other similar or worse 'rolling eyes incident' happened after that... Just minor weird glances…hehehe well, it’s a start. Jusco is promoting this say-NO-to-plastic bags campaign which I think kind of cool…

Which reminds me of this incident...I was driving with my mom. Suddenly she threw a food wrapper out of the car window n I was like “mommyyyyy, yuuu douunntt deuuu tthhaat…~” no. just kidding. No fake English accent with her. No English too. Nanti dia marah. Dia cakap ya la aku tau la aku tidak pigi sekolah, kau jangan la mau temberang. Hahaha Ain’t my mom the most adorable mommy everrrr??... She’s a bit insecure…but I can tell you all, she might not be formally educated, but she is one really chherrrdddiiikkkk person…anyway. Back to the story: mak..mana bole buat macam tu…and then she say alaaaa…tu na *pointing out at roadsides pavements*…ko tengok itu di tepi2 jalan, memang suda kotor pun…then I said, iya memang la ma tapi kan nanti mama pun tambah…biar la orang lain jahat, jangan la mama juga kan..she said hmm…hehehe

These two stories meant nothing but to remind me n anybody out there that it has to start somewhere. No I don’t mean to boast that I use reusable shopping bag or to tell something bad about mommy—that’d b ridiculous, my mom is the nearest example that I can use to portray that we should remind people who are close to us—I just think that, we live in a society with a mind frame that has been trained to be ignorant about some things that are actually very important. I’m just hoping that those who realize these small but important gestures can make small reminders to others too. Like u, readers. I believe that any changes have to start somewhere. No matter how small our steps are, a step will still make a difference.

Anyway, on a totally different note, I just want to share another thing: it’s quite amazing that, these Mars Volta songs only get to me after years of being in my playlist. Damn. Hahah Nad gave me these like in 2007 but I haven’t really listen to them seriously until now… hehe it’s so nice to give in to something ‘new’ and ‘fresh’ at times like this…berkejaran dengan masa. Tiba2 ada yang indah mau masuk dalam kepala. mmg indah music ini...Nice~. Thanx Nad.

and so it is

sometimes we just forget that one of the closest thing to us is death. it lingers around us; all the time. and so it is, wen it strikes the ones around us, or the people related to the people around us, it just hurts a lil bit weirdly. the sadness is just too heavy no matter how we're not close to the ones who passed away. in a weird way. heavily, it drags everything down..even a tiny bit sound will suddenly be amplified, so u dare not make any. time suddenly ticks more slowly then before. everything suddenly put on slow motion.

but it is how it is. as we grow older, we will get to know this dear old friend 'death' better and better.
it comes to our loved ones.
be honest, at times, you do feel that your mom--calling you in a high pitched tone and nagging u around--annoys you. but when the time comes, you do wish she nags more and more...just so that u could hear her voice...

pause

and then the others will go to..

until it comes to us.

but i say death is a weird hurting coz, in a weird way, every face suddenly contains some degree of love & yearning. u long to hug everyone (that u can), pat a shoulder, hold hands, and just pause a bit..life just gets more meaningful....

i wish i could put here a recording of my mom's voice saying in a matter-of-factly tone "what are you afraid of? why are you afraid?" she can elaborate this and relate it to any issue that i share with her. but when it comes to death, she'll say, its just another phase--coming back to your Maker.

Al-Fatihah buat Ayahanda kepada Intan, semoga roh nya berada di kalangan orang yang beriman.

kad pelajar berwarna hijau

Hey.another post. But thank God it’s another day.

Anyway, lets babble my hour away.

So we have this new ‘cool matrix card’ that looks like it’s more advance you-can-swipe-me-anywhere-and-i-can-give-you-access-to-doors-unlocked-and-also-be-your-librar-card. Or so they say.

And yesterday..--or the day before…or..some days…anyway.. we were having a group discussion when a friend come up to us n say “it cant be used…” and then we know he was talking about the matrix card. It cant be used as a library card. In fact, it cant be used for anything except to display our stretched-face picture and name n ic number. But I was thinking it still is cool. You know, coz it’s a real card.

But then the part—our cards have barcodes at the bottom of every card… and that was how that friend got to the conclusion of the unusable nature of our cards…the barcodes are all just the same. It is like another picture on our cards. They are phony barcodes…

Long pause


I just don’t get why do they have to put it there.

Im not judging…u know…but…n Im not saying anything…
But.. phony barcodes?
They can just leave it blank…
just saying, enchek T…


any--haaauuuuu...~

I still have a cool id card. I wear it proudly and play with it happily once in awhile, swinging it from side to side.hehe I feel I belong now to this institute that I honestly love (serius, aku sayang tempat ni)…and just behind that card, aku selitkan kad pelajar aku yang baru luput March, berwarna hijau, dan sungguh di kasihi jua.

hihihihi

this is how (3)

This is how I procrastinate

I just made 2 new blog posts for today—and this is the third. People, these moments are probably part of the sweet final moments that you are able to spend to procrastinate as students; therefore, I suggest, we take it, and give it a hundred percent! PROCRASTINATE, SOLDIERS, PROCRASTINATE!!

To achieve that, let’s continue with the subject of this post.—procrastination.
Blablabla…I think it’s a well-known topic anyway.

So I’ll guess I’ll do something else

1. play guitar
2. read bryson’s book.dem funieee.
3. Play bubbles
4. ….*PAUSE-I just spend half-an-hour talking what to order for dinner-dominos*
5. Stare out the window, hoping it will rain again.
6. Stare out the window, hoping my personal problems will solve themselves
7. Stare out the window, hoping my assignments will be finished by itself

Let’s just do the assignments….fine…

Or maybe I can make another post. We’ll see how things go.