what is it thats in me that sometimes made so sure that i want to drown myself to death? though im perfectly sure i wont be brave enough to do it, sometimes this idea of death and this desire seems so strong that i could picture myself in the sea water...my vision blurred and my eyes hurt with the salty water..it should be at night so i wont see clearly what surrounds me but water...i wouldnt struggle at first, and as i close my eyes, the air from my lung would lessen and lessen and second chance of life would flash in my head and then i'll struggle..but the rocks i put in my pockets and the deep sea and the fact that i couldnt swim will assure me i wont survive...and i wont...
but thtas just my fantasy. i sure am a chicken shit.
and i would continue living this life, cause nothing is wrong with me though everything feels very wrong.and i dont even know what.
sume nih alasan...
fuck you, waznah, fuck you.