no more long trips back home

i miss airports. but wait yeah, recently ive been to airports picking and sending friends off their planes. so missing airports is not logical. whoa.

but i mis actually boarding a plane. or maybe simply travel on the road for 3-6 hours, more or less. i miss that looking-out-the-window pose i could imagine a movie made out of it.

i remember crying when i got the news about my posting. (WHAT I GOT POSTED TO A SCHOOL 10 MINUTES FROM HOME??WHAT?? I DONT EVEN HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANY MAJOR ROAD TO DO THAT??WHATT) goes monologue while crying as if my cat died...(no i dont have any cats at the moment-face slap)

little that i know, the posting had meant a few more than i thought it would back then (coz i cried without even knowing why i had to cry)--it also meant: a terrible and messed up break up, and me being psycho-ed about the no-more-long-trips *back home*...i dont really mind the /back home/ part coz i still love the long trips back to the hostel/college/school (this is unusual for some of us who hate staying at hostels); as long as it long trips..i love long trips...i thot back then when i received the news, i'd just miss it. but now i am going crazy about not having it.

life without long trips sucks. big time. like this big. no THIS big. it sucks. really. maybe u, the little person (n the only one) who's reading this will say "apa susah, pigi ja la jalan, no body's holding u back". o yeah every thing's holding me back alright.

when i was in school, college, uni, long trips WERE NECESSARY. no matter how awfully terribly expensive the tickets were (or how cheap it was too) it's obligatory that i bought it. so no guilt there. but nowww?? it's one of those unnecessary purchases.

PLUS, back then, i wasnt having holes in my pockets. now, every time i put money in, it'll automatically go out. u know what i mean? you get u pay, n u have to use it directly to pay the bills n shit...damn.

"ok stop it, u whining bitch" says back of the head voice. fine... i know i shouldn't whine about my job my pay and my current life. its lovely. my life's lovely.

but i just miss the long trips ok....i miss necessary and unquestionable free-of-guilt long trips.