Yang aku tahu, aku tidak boleh tidur sekarang.
Jadi aku ada dua pilihan. (1) Baca buku sampai tertidur. (2) Baca berulang kali text terakhir Clyde yang memujuk aku, sampai tertidur. Kekurangan kedua-dua pilihan ini ialah, semasa membaca, hanya ada 40% kemungkinan untuk aku menjadi mengantuk dan tertidur. 60% lagi ada kemungkinan fikiran akan berlegar.
Ada banyak lagi cara lain untuk memaksa tidur sebenarnya. (3) Mengira kambing biri-biri di New Zealand. (4) Mengira dari nombor 100 ke belakang; 99, 98, 97… (5) Membayangkan perkara-perkara best untuk berlaku sambil ikat mata menggunakan kain *blindfolded*. (6) Berselawat. Mungkin itu patut jadi pilihan terawal.
Tapi semuanya mempunya kekurangan yang sama: fikiran aku akan cepat terlepas tanpa aku sedari. Sebagai contoh: *mengira: 1 biri-biri…2 biri-biri…(diringkaskan) 20 biri-biri..eh, aku baru ingat besok macam mana ya. Ada aktiviti apa sebenarnya esok? Och! Och! Where was I??* /contoh habis/
Oleh itu hanya satu cara untuk menyusunnya semula. Menceritakan sesuatu supaya aku terpaksa untuk menyusun fikiran aku supaya satu cerita itu terkeluar dalam bentuk tersusun. Coherent text can only be constructed by a coherent mind; thus by forcing myself to construct a coherent text, I also forced myself to rearrange my thoughts.
So, let me use this story, in particular, to help me. Perlukah intro sebegitu panjang?
I bungy-jumped once. Only once. Because I swore not to do it again; in my mind and in my heart. Though I was screaming “DAMN IT!! I WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN! HOLIEE SHIEETT THAT FEELS GOOD!!” repeatedly while I was put down from dangling in the air, I really, actually, don’t mean what I was saying/screaming about... My excuse was: I would have done it again if it wasn’t so expensive. Chicken shit.
Here’s the story. The deal was to get on a crane and it will bring you up to—well, a really high level. The crane moves slowly and you could see the ground ‘taken’ from you inch by inch.
Between here (on the ground) and here (on top: 43metre high. Yes, ONLY, says you who is so courageous), I had lots of time to get my second thoughts. And I did. Before reaching the top, I was already on my knees, begging for the instructor to bring me back down ‘coz I don’t wana do this anymore.
At first he was trying to slow talk to me; saying you could do this or being scared is normal..and all. But I was persistent to call it off. So he said with more firm voice “you’re not making my job any easier”. Then I got more scared of him than the heights. So I tried to stand up.
Then, maybe he pitied me a bit so he said “just look on to the horizon, don’t think of the height, see how beautiful it is?”
*aha..aha…I motioned my head a bit in agreement*
“okay, this is how we’re gona do it, okay? Put both of your hands up..yeah..like that..*hands were gripping tightly to the walls*..no..no, just let it go..ggg..you have—to, just..yes. Let it go..like that”
* one hand grabs instructor's hand, not for flirting purpose. Please. Controlling my breath ‘coz I was pretty sure my heart was going to explode. Then he let go*
“now, I’m going to count to three and then you jump, okay?”
*was telling my self to focus on the horizon and thinking: how awful it would be if I don’t make this jump. So many cute guys from Auckland are down there watching me while waiting for their turn*
“one”
I felt his hand on my back, but I guess…whh
“two…”
I dint hear the “three”. He cheated. He pushed me off the cliff. I mean off the tower crane.
Damn it.
My face just got uglier and uglier in the photos after that. My brother had a really big laugh looking at the photos. But after that I did another 'extreme sport' activity or whatever you call it, named: Swoop. I enjoyed every second of that one. Though the height was pretty much the same. Why? Well, that's another story.
I just felt that I've written this in another entry before... have I?