When I was a kid, I had this habit of watching people’s back…
Okay, if Acap reads this, he’d laugh his head off just because he thought I have come out of the closet as a pervert to the whole world.
…but let me finish. I had this habit of watching people’s back when they are leaving me or leaving home—I mean, I like to see people go... Hmmm…this may still be confusing. How do I explain this…
For example, I used to see my mom go on mornings (to the market). I’d salam ciom tangan dia before I let her leave. I’d make sure that I said my byebye and she said her byebye back or I won’t feel good after that. I’d also make sure I saw her car go until it turned around that corner and I couldn’t see it anymore. I’d keep on waving my hand while at that. Sometimes, if I was lucky, she’d sound her car horn once before it turned around that corner. BIP!
If I can’t do that—let’s say, I woke up late and realized that mom had already left—I’d be sooo sad. So sad that sometimes I could cry.
And another example is with my brother. My older brother. He’s a bit cold, you know. The cold-bro type. So, when I was younger—when we were all younger, and he used to go to places walking and taking the bus instead of driving, I’d walk him out the door, then to the gate. And as he gone out of that gate I’d say my byebye with this really high pitch and enthusiastic tone.
But him being that cold-bro, he’d only say bye as if he was pronouncing a one-syllable word he spelled for his English teacher when he was in kindergarten. Like : ‘car’ *with nerdy face and body-posture*. That, if he wasn’t saying it with an annoyed tone, anyway.
If he didn’t say his bye to me, I’d keep on saying my byebye while seeing him walking away, watching his back, waiting and hoping that he’d turn around to wave…or maybe not. And I’d keep on saying it until he took that corner or went down the bridge at the end of the block. I’d scream if I had to. BYE BYE BYE BYE. Annoying little sister. He know that I’d stop if he said his bye.
After so many years, I still have this habit. Now, even though I am the afternoon session teacher (trainee), I usually wake up early in the morning. To see him go. To say my byebye and make sure he ‘said’ his before he went off to school. To see him on his cck until my view was blocked by the trees and the buildings in front of me.
If I missed my chance to do that—and I wake up to see that the sun was shining soo bright that I was pretty sure it wasn’t 6:50a.m. anymore—I’d be disappointed.
You see, we sometimes developed really weird habit when we grow up. And it became weirder when those weird habits don’t go away after so many years.
But I think… I don’t want it to go away.