When would you give up and say "this is good enough for me", huh?

It’s really hard actually to write something you thought was important when you have something else bothering your mind. It’s hard to keep that something else which is really crowding in your mind from spilling on to your writings.

And I have to confess that I am more about relationships than other things. If I were to give in and write about that ‘something else’, I’d be writing almost everything about him and this so called relationship topic.

But then again…it doesn’t seem right at the moment.

So maybe, let’s make the most out of difficult situations like this. Let me straighten up my mind a bit by talking about that ‘something important’ that I intended to write in the first place. Well, at least let me try.

….

……

What was it again?
Never mind. I lost my train of thoughts.

But this is what come up suddenly in my mind:

I had a friend once. One was a silent one. I wish one is here right now. One would listen, I know. There’s something about one that made me comfortable. Something that made me not scared to open up everything about me and not feel judged.

Once, one brought me to a place to see the land from up top. And look down below to the ‘bintang darat’ like I never seen them before. But it’s too sad that I lost one. I lost many friends but losing one was something I’ll never forget.

And if one is here now, nothing would be the same as it is--and that'd mean everything is in it's wrong place. So, I shouldn't wish one is here. Right now, no.

I know that this is actually an empty entry. But in the contrary my mind is just over-crowded. It’s like being in the noisiest market you’ll ever be in but you could hear nothing because you are day dreaming. You are far away from there. Your soul isn’t actually there.

And I am not actually here.