i know these two for about a year plus and been with them for a few months...
and then...
i try to remember the times i spend with sai, n the memories are hazy, but im sure of my feelings in those times...happy, sad, angry...but i know i love him..
but just now, i remembered the two, n i instantly smile, and giggled a little..seriuuusssllyyy i felt somekind of warmth in my heart....
im not saying that i love those two more than sai, im not saying i love sai less, im not saying i forgot Sai or anything. please dont be offended Sai.its all the same with other things, you know..the memories are all hazy... but its different with these two...i dont have to try hard to remember their faces, their smiles..i can even remember how they move about around my house...its so clear, you know...like very short but clear memories..
here's the two:
ini Iman
dan ini Ain...
sungguh tidak paham perasaan ini...sungguh rindu yg melampau2...
maybe, ni yg menunjukkan hati perempuan ni, mmg sgt kuat for babies..kata atik, women's love for (her) babies kadang2 bole exceed love for men (husband).. i dono...takat ni, cam betul, tho i cant say for sure, coz i havent have my own babies..husband pon...
sai jgn mara ya~ sai kan cooooollll...hihihihi
i remember one time mase balek summer ari tuh.morning, biase a..mama pi pasar berjualan. i dunno where everybody else at that time kan..that home, always empty ..hurm... anyway.. i was sleeping, pastuh bangun sbb iman dah bangun..dia nak g tandas a...nak maen la...nak susu la...habes sume urusan dia, i switch on the tv in mom's room..n sbb baring sambil tgk tv tuh, i fell asleep again.
then i woke up because ema was screaming "IMANNN!!~~ mati la ko ole makcik mu..naaaaa"
i know its ema from the other room.i openned my eyes n iman wasnt beside me watching tv dah...tgh mamai2 nih, i ran to "my" room...n saw him eating my mascara...my 40 dollar mascara....
seriously i was angry n i slapped his hand **tak kuat la~~im not abusive like his mother!!ngow maen2 jak** n then he scream n cry olok2...i can tell he's not crying for real, believe me~ n then i felt like i wana laugh out loud...so comellll~ so sayang~~
im not really close to ain coz her mom is pretty strict with her, n she's not really keen on separating from her mom or dad anyway... but when im with her its really great! she laughs so sincere u cant help but melt! haihh **sigh with smile**
haihh....a few months to go... n i'll come home n be iman's mother if his own mother wont...
haih..that house...
i just wish mama doesnt cry too often..
i just wish bangmin, ema, aman and me (kak bina too) can understand her more...we've been selfish for long enough, dari kecik rase yg we're victims yg innocent sdangkan we are haters, we have done too many mistakes n yet still be self-righteous, being self-centered n sometimes egocentric...
i just thought, even if mama is wrong in any way, its her time to be pampered, her time to be selfish, her time to be given attention to, her time to win...die dah mengalah ngan kita for too long...give her a chance. if we cant make her happy (how silly that sound kan), at least make her calm, make her peaceful.
damn2...suddenly dive into that topic.
anyway, i am currently working on a fairy-themed drawing for a contest on dA. wish me luck. penat2 planning n sketching, rehat2, tu yg teringat pasai budak2 tuh tadi..