I must go on standing!
…sang Regina.
You know what breaks my heart? –the things that I don’t understand. It’s humane to be afraid of something that we don’t understand and things that break my heart are the things that I am afraid of *apart from other things as well*.
But that’s the thing—I just don’t understand those things. So why do I let it break my heart? I can’t help it, I guess. But broken hearts can mend and that’s all I can make out, out of those incomprehensible things.
Ok. How can I explain this?
I am an emotional person. It is not a logical thing to get affected by reminiscing your past, is it? But I do. Easily at that. I don’t really know how to name this feeling—but whenever I thought about the days I went through in Welly, I felt a shiver. I felt certain sadness.
But I am not sad at this present time caused by that past. Because I know I’ve learned something along the way; I’ve improved much that I deserve a pat on my back… but I feel—something... somewhat ‘sayu’?
It’s been too long since I get in touch with a friend who introduced me to Regina Spektor. I wonder how he is doing. He had helped me through a lot during my days in Welly. I don’t think I thanked him enough. But o well. If you read this, I thank you again yah!
And here’s a part of On the Radio by Regina as well.
This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath
No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again
How does it work again?
I won't let the old times get to me now...